1980s: The Death of a Childless Matriarch
1980 goes by fast. In November Ronald Reagan wins the presidency, in December John Lennon is shot and killed in New York. Vigils are held across the country, across the world even, especially in San Seqouia where Barbara lives. She and Susan speak often on the phone in the months to come, as Susan opens up about her life in the shared grief of someone they both admired.
But winter passes and a new year begins. Ronald Reagan is sworn in and life moves on. By spring its time for Barbara to celebrate her 50th birthday.
"Mum, were you present when they signed the declaration of independence." Abby asks as she helps her mother prepare for her party.
"I'm only turning 39!"
"And exactly how many times can a person turn 39?"
"Oh hush or I'll make you vacuum."
Soon the house fill with people. The family, friends, even Gordon comes to celebrate Barbs as she turns fifty, even though they haven't seen each other in years.
Outside the rain is pouring down, one of the biggest downpours Barbara can remember and lighting split the sky open again and again, but inside the house is warm and toasty, the conversation lively and animated.
Abby and Cindy soon has had enough of the adults downstairs, and sneak off to Abby's room where they play games and listen to music that is a lot more modern and the tunes downstairs.
But as fun as the party is, it's when the guests leave and Barbara and Abby once more have the house to themselves that Barbs can truly relax. They snack on the left overs from the party, change into more comfortable clothing and sit down and watch a movie into late into the night.
But Barbara is not the only one who has a major birthday coming up. In Oasis Springs, Anna is turning 90 and once more a house is filled with people.
Coming from all over, they are all there to celebrate. For each of them, Anna has been important in some way, and while having so many guests is a bit exhausting for her, she tries her best to entertain everyone and pass on what she's learnt in life.
With so many in the house its good that the weather in Oasis Springs almost always allows you to use the garden too.
Anna is truly enjoying herself. She teaches Susan how to be alluring, Robin to appreciate family more and entertains everyone with stories of her adventures as a young woman. For the life of her she does not understand why people still want to hear about how she climbed Mt Komorebi or explored the jungle all those years ago, but on good days like today, she enjoys sharing her stories.
But not all days are good days when you are 90, and age has started to take a toll on Anna. For an active person like Anna, not being able to move the same way is difficult to deal with, as is the fatigue that can suddenly hit her out of no where.
A lot of days she spends hours just cuddling Kaya on the sofa, or talking to Betty who is knitting little clothes for her new grandchild. She tries to do the things she can, and has started taking on authentication work from the arkeological society on occasion. To do something worth while. It takes longer, but she still knows what to do.
Then there are even worse days. Like the day Thomas found her sitting in her nightgown on a park bench down the street.
"I don't know what all the fuss is about. I was just taking a walk!" she says irritably when he tries to persuade her to go home. "An old woman needs some rest at times."
"You're in your nightgown, Anna," Thomas points out.
It's when her bladder fails one morning because she cannot get to the toilet in time that Thomas realises that something is really wrong. After helping her clean up, he drives her to the hospital.
Anna isn't sure that this is strictly necessary. "It was just a small accident," she brushes off the incident, but the doctors don't agree. They sign her in for observation for the night. "Useless waste of resorses if you ask me," Anna grumbles.
Thomas and Betty bring her clean clothes for her to wear while there, for which she is grateful. "That hospital gown is so degrading," she says. "I prefer my own clothes."
They do allow her to eat breakfast in the cantina, rather than her room, and as the day shift comes on and all her tests are complete they send her home.
"You should consider putting her in a home," they tell Thomas. "She's just old, and that is not going to improve. There will be more episodes like that."
But that is an opinion that Thomas is not willing to listen to. Anna has been one of the most helpful and supportive people in his life, and he's not about to send her off to strangers just because things got a bit difficult.
The two have a long talk when they get home where he tries to make Anna see the importance in asking for help, and not overtaxing herself.
Anna says she'll try, before heading off for an afternoon nap. Something that for her was unthinkable just a few years ago is now a necessity. In many ways she doesn't recognise herself anymore. She forgets things she always used to remember, confuse people when she sees them and keeps expecting Johnny to show up at any moment. Some days she starts to look for her car keys to return home to her horses before she remembers that she doesn't drive any more, and that the horses are long since gone.
So for her, it's not a surprise when she wakes up one morning feeling weaker than normal. It's not even unwelcome when she feels the life drain from her. Perhaps this will be her next big adventure? To see what lies beyond this world. Will her loved ones be waiting for her on the other side? Or will life start again somewhere else? She doesn't know, but she's willing to find out.
For Thomas, hearing her fall to the floor and rushing through the door it's a greater shock. Yes, she was old, but he hadn't expected her to die so soon.
The loss hits him hard. Throughout his life, Anna has been a constant. A stable presence to rely on no matter what happened in life. Packing up the things in her room is especially hard.
But winter passes and a new year begins. Ronald Reagan is sworn in and life moves on. By spring its time for Barbara to celebrate her 50th birthday.
"Mum, were you present when they signed the declaration of independence." Abby asks as she helps her mother prepare for her party.
"I'm only turning 39!"
"And exactly how many times can a person turn 39?"
"Oh hush or I'll make you vacuum."
Soon the house fill with people. The family, friends, even Gordon comes to celebrate Barbs as she turns fifty, even though they haven't seen each other in years.
Outside the rain is pouring down, one of the biggest downpours Barbara can remember and lighting split the sky open again and again, but inside the house is warm and toasty, the conversation lively and animated.
Abby and Cindy soon has had enough of the adults downstairs, and sneak off to Abby's room where they play games and listen to music that is a lot more modern and the tunes downstairs.
But as fun as the party is, it's when the guests leave and Barbara and Abby once more have the house to themselves that Barbs can truly relax. They snack on the left overs from the party, change into more comfortable clothing and sit down and watch a movie into late into the night.
But Barbara is not the only one who has a major birthday coming up. In Oasis Springs, Anna is turning 90 and once more a house is filled with people.
Coming from all over, they are all there to celebrate. For each of them, Anna has been important in some way, and while having so many guests is a bit exhausting for her, she tries her best to entertain everyone and pass on what she's learnt in life.
With so many in the house its good that the weather in Oasis Springs almost always allows you to use the garden too.
Anna is truly enjoying herself. She teaches Susan how to be alluring, Robin to appreciate family more and entertains everyone with stories of her adventures as a young woman. For the life of her she does not understand why people still want to hear about how she climbed Mt Komorebi or explored the jungle all those years ago, but on good days like today, she enjoys sharing her stories.
But not all days are good days when you are 90, and age has started to take a toll on Anna. For an active person like Anna, not being able to move the same way is difficult to deal with, as is the fatigue that can suddenly hit her out of no where.
A lot of days she spends hours just cuddling Kaya on the sofa, or talking to Betty who is knitting little clothes for her new grandchild. She tries to do the things she can, and has started taking on authentication work from the arkeological society on occasion. To do something worth while. It takes longer, but she still knows what to do.
Then there are even worse days. Like the day Thomas found her sitting in her nightgown on a park bench down the street.
"I don't know what all the fuss is about. I was just taking a walk!" she says irritably when he tries to persuade her to go home. "An old woman needs some rest at times."
"You're in your nightgown, Anna," Thomas points out.
It's when her bladder fails one morning because she cannot get to the toilet in time that Thomas realises that something is really wrong. After helping her clean up, he drives her to the hospital.
Anna isn't sure that this is strictly necessary. "It was just a small accident," she brushes off the incident, but the doctors don't agree. They sign her in for observation for the night. "Useless waste of resorses if you ask me," Anna grumbles.
Thomas and Betty bring her clean clothes for her to wear while there, for which she is grateful. "That hospital gown is so degrading," she says. "I prefer my own clothes."
They do allow her to eat breakfast in the cantina, rather than her room, and as the day shift comes on and all her tests are complete they send her home.
"You should consider putting her in a home," they tell Thomas. "She's just old, and that is not going to improve. There will be more episodes like that."
But that is an opinion that Thomas is not willing to listen to. Anna has been one of the most helpful and supportive people in his life, and he's not about to send her off to strangers just because things got a bit difficult.
The two have a long talk when they get home where he tries to make Anna see the importance in asking for help, and not overtaxing herself.
Anna says she'll try, before heading off for an afternoon nap. Something that for her was unthinkable just a few years ago is now a necessity. In many ways she doesn't recognise herself anymore. She forgets things she always used to remember, confuse people when she sees them and keeps expecting Johnny to show up at any moment. Some days she starts to look for her car keys to return home to her horses before she remembers that she doesn't drive any more, and that the horses are long since gone.
So for her, it's not a surprise when she wakes up one morning feeling weaker than normal. It's not even unwelcome when she feels the life drain from her. Perhaps this will be her next big adventure? To see what lies beyond this world. Will her loved ones be waiting for her on the other side? Or will life start again somewhere else? She doesn't know, but she's willing to find out.
For Thomas, hearing her fall to the floor and rushing through the door it's a greater shock. Yes, she was old, but he hadn't expected her to die so soon.
The loss hits him hard. Throughout his life, Anna has been a constant. A stable presence to rely on no matter what happened in life. Packing up the things in her room is especially hard.
Once more, it's time for the family to gather in Chestnut Creek church. This time, the church is filled to the last seat. Everyone has some story about Anna, about how she touched their life. In her will, she asked them to keep it light, and so it's with stories of her life they fill the air. Thomas shares his stories, about how she helped him when he was lost and did not want to move from the horses, and again when he came home from the war, and how she then helped his son in the same way. Grace shares her story of how Anna pushed her to go to university when she was afraid she would not manage, and offered to pay when her parents could not.
Every one of them have some story. Everyone of them feel this loss acutely. Anna never had children of her own, but there wasn't a child in this family she did not touch.
Every one of them have some story. Everyone of them feel this loss acutely. Anna never had children of her own, but there wasn't a child in this family she did not touch.
After the ceremony, they gather at her tomb. She's laid to rest between Johnny and Alice, her gravestone decorated by a horse in flight. They light a candle, and plant a rose bush between her gravestone and Johnny's, so that the two can continue to grow together.
When all is said and done, they return to Thomas and Betty's for some food. They keep sharing their stories, and Thomas reads her will out loud. She left him most of her possessions, though some he in turn passes on. Some of her photos especially, he gives to his children, to remember her by.
Betty too, give gifts, taking the opportunity to give the baby clothes she's knitted to Michael.
But for Betty, this funeral marks another loss. The loss of purpose. For so many years her purpose was her children, and when they moved out she could start to care for Anna. Now there is no one else to care for, her grandson lives too far away to see every day, so what is she supposed to fill her time with when Thomas is at work? But of this she says nothing. Perhaps in time, she can figure it out, but for now Thomas has enough to deal with than having her doubts about her purpose in life take up his time.
Betty too, give gifts, taking the opportunity to give the baby clothes she's knitted to Michael.
But for Betty, this funeral marks another loss. The loss of purpose. For so many years her purpose was her children, and when they moved out she could start to care for Anna. Now there is no one else to care for, her grandson lives too far away to see every day, so what is she supposed to fill her time with when Thomas is at work? But of this she says nothing. Perhaps in time, she can figure it out, but for now Thomas has enough to deal with than having her doubts about her purpose in life take up his time.
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